dear diary,

i'm not feeling well.. my heart is pumping very hurt.. and as i know it not because of any illness.. but it's bcoz i'm hurt in the bottom of my heart.. i just feel..that he not just being honest with me.. it's not hard to tell me.. that his colleague wait him in the bustop ... and the bustop is very near to his workplace (i, myself can walk).. so he need to pick up his colleague... why? this 'this colleague' just ask him to pick her up... why dont she just choose other colleague to pick her up in that bustop.. why.. why.. and why... and my husband was so loyal to pick her on time everyday...!!! and i'm not satisfied here... because he just to me.. please hurry.. i'm late...if stuck in a jammed, oh my, i'll be late.. and the way he talked seem like it's all my fault that he late... i need to iron the cloths.. need to feed the kitten.. that can't do in just 1 minute. why just dont let his 'colleague' to walk or just follow other colleagues that passby the bustop.. every easy matter he think very completely... i love my husband... and will always do... i just hope that i can see and meet the old pattern of my husband.. if he change a little.. i still can accept as long the old pattern of my husband still there and love me the way i am... amin.